How will I know?? Or What will i find out?

I sit around thinking and wondering. Did i ever do anything so bad to get so bad back. I mean i help my family when they need help or when i can. Only in the end to feel so betrayed by the person who should be the alst one to do so. We were close, but not anymore. He loved me and kissed me, he doesnt anymore. I never look at any man with intentions ...sexual intentions, but now i wonder sometimes. I have shared some interesting details with online friends but never about his emotional state. I always trusted him but no more. He has gotten so drunk with his buddy strange enough not remembering that he had himself a owrking girl. Thats the worst any man can do to a woman in my book. But his always has excuses. So many they begin to sound like my kids excuses! I thought it ended there but no...He now started emailing my best friend talking about how he "damn i miss you". What am i to think. Sharing plans for sex and stuff. How insecure i am. Forgive me if i am a one man woman. Is it my fault.??